Update on Bill

I spoke to our son Roy and there is better news on Bill's condition.

His kidneys are functioning again and they have taken him off dialysis. He will be weaned off the ventilator and was breathing on his own for a few hours on Friday.

If that goes well, the sedative that has been keeping him in the coma will be gradually reduced.

Roy also said that I could probably go visit Bill the end of next week, but to wait to make plans until he is awake.

I am relieved, but won't be truly ok until I get to see for myself that he will be ok.

Bad news yesterday

I heard from one of my sons last night about the status of my ex husband Bill, hmmm - well perhaps I should say my friend Bill?

He is so much more than my ex husband. He is the father of my children, a true friend, the man who raised my son, the man that taught me that I was worth loving...

Bill went in for surgery last month to have his repair to a hiatal hernia re-fixed. We thought that it would involve about a 3 week stay with the last couple of weeks just to monitor the repair.

I found out yesterday that there have been some pretty serious complications - infection, kidney malfunction and they have kept him in the ICU for the last 4 weeks, unconscious.

They may start bringing him around this next week.

I would like to go see him, but his family really doesn't like me and it would probably upset his mother a lot.

I am concerned, I heard from Roy (one of our sons) that he flew out there a week ago to sit with him in ICU.

I do love that man, he's been part of my life since I was 18 years old - over 30 years.

Roy said that he would try to keep me informed of his status.

wicked dream

I had the strangest dream this morning.

I dreamt that I was leading a tour of places that it is ok to be homeless and leave your stuff during the day. Then it turned into that I was homeless with a guy named Nelson and we were looking for a place to roll out for the night.

We strung a line for a shelter and rolled up in the bottom of it and went to sleep.

I woke up to the sound of a couple of guys capturing us and talking about killing us.

One of the guys took me down the street a ways and I started talking to him about the best way to get other people - he said he was interested and I took him back to the alley where Nelson and I had been and showed him my spider web set up. When we got there, the other guy had either killed or hurt Nelson as he was laying on the ground not moving.

We looked at the bottom of my spider web and there were a bunch of skeletons there, I asked the guy if he wanted to see how it worked and he let go of me and said yes.

I pushed him into the web and grabbed a hammer from the ground and hit the other guy with it. The web grabbed hold of the first guy and the second guys head came off and started bouncing like a ball. I asked the second guy if Nelson had hit him with the hammer and he said yes.

I tapped him lightly on the head and his head bounced up and down a little bit - I asked "did he hit you like this?" and the guys head said yes. I said "damn him, I told him not to hit like that, I told him to hit like this" and then I brought the hammer down really hard on the head and cracked it open.

Then I woke up and decided that I could not go back to sleep - that was too freaky.

I never have dreams about death or killing.....

This one disturbed me and I might have to find out what it means.